This time i want to write a few words about positive experiences and their impact on happiness…in the long-term. Most people know, that the perceived (subjective) feeling of happiness triggered by a positive event declines over time. I assume, that you are not smiling every day because of your holidays, which took place half a year ago.  If your chef awarded you a raise at work due to outstanding achievements, the smile on your face will probably last some days, only.

There is a mechanism called “capitalization” in order to keep up happiness after positive events.

Our brains are not or not completely able to distinguish between reality and fiction. In the following i assume, that thinking allows us to imagine any given (fictional) situation.
It might be a future success event, like a win in sports or an event which occured in the past. For example an event, which raised the positive subjective feeling of happiness, like a vacation, you have always dreamt of.

It leads to the first conclusion, that thinking of a (past) event might lead to the same (positive) reaction as really experiencing the event.

How does it work? It is all about the power of imagination.

So, does it mean, that we should do “flash-backs” every day by our own? In kind of  meditation state? No, of course not.
The good thing is, you don’t need to do it by your own. Talking is one way, to get into the thinking process. Though there are differences between cultures, talking is at least closely related to thinking (and sometimes vice versa)

* Our brain is not (completely) capable of distinguishing between reality and fiction. Thinking of an event might lead to similar perceived emotional reactions as the experience of an event
* Talking is strongly related to thinking

So what can we do about the decreasing subjective happiness after a positive event?

Researchers Gable et al. have found out, that sharing good news on positive events with another person is one of the most important processes for maintaining perceived happiness. They call this process “capitalization”.

3.1.1. Capitalizing on positive events

Capitalizing on positive events means telling others about positive events, for example. Telling others about positive events leads to higher positive affect and greater life satisfaction (p. 241).

Based on the assumption, that our brain is not able to distinguish between reality and fiction, it leads to the idea, that telling others about positive events is a re-experience of the event itself. It is highly probable, that talking about positive events is like a mediating factor, which leads to increased memory of the positive event in the long run.Happiness increases.

3.1.2. Side effect: Social capital

A positive thing attached to capitalizing on positive events is, that it may lead to a better perceived social capital. Long story short: others think that you are more attractive and have greater intention to get in contact and/or establish a relationship with you.

In the long-run, well-being of this relationship i highly probable to increase (S.241). Happiness increases, too.

3.2.1. Active & constructive response

Gable et al. point out, that the reaction/response of the listener is of highest importance, too. They classified possible responses into 4 categories. On the positive end of the scale one can find active and constructive responses. The negative end of the scale describes passive and destructive responses. The direct response has immediate effect on well-being on inter and intrapersonal level.

Passive and destructive responses might undermine the development of further well-being based on the positive event in question. The listener might show, that he or she does not value the event in question or the story-teller or that he or she is jealous, for example.

Active and constructive feedback on the other hand leads to the feeling of being understood and appreciated, which helps in building well-being and a good relationship

How to build active and constructive feedback is described on this page.

3.2.2. Side-effect: Conditioning

There is a positive thing attached within this dimension, too. From a behavioral point of view, giving active and positive responses is also a kind of reward. Immediate rewarding helps in strenghening desired behaviors (in behavioral psychologythis process is standard-knowledge and psychologists call it “Operant conditioning“).

What does this mean? Simply speaking: Imagine being a child back in the days: if you clean-up your room and proudly tell your parents about it, positive feedback and a possible reward has led to a higher chance of repeating the clean-up behaviour.

One might call it “learning new and desired habits”. This is actually the process how dogs learn new things. Therefore active and constructive feedback not only leads to a better outcome for the story-teller and the relationship, but also helps enabling the story-teller to open up and be more confident about positive events in the future.

At work, one should create time and space, which enables colleagues to share positive experiences, as to what extent they have achieved predefined goals, for example. It might strenghen customer satisfaction, creation of new solutions etc. It should be an environment, where everybody is open to say everything. An environment, where others offer instant active and constructive feedback.

One might say, that not everybody is willing to open up or speak positively about yourself. This is why it is less important to encourage or even force people directly to open up about positive experiences. It is more important to create an environment, where people encourage telling about positive events and whoever is willing to speak is free to speak.

As we as humans tend to increase our own positive perception, providing active and constructive feedback, shows “shy” individuals, that opening up is rewarded. Strengthening one’s position and strengthening one’s perceived standing within a defined group.

Idea: Create a TGIF (=Thank God it’s friday) meeting at the end of the last day of the week. Ask for low- and highlights. Let the attendees decide if they want to open up.

In private context, in particular in traditional western family context, one might not have such a big group of grown-ups at the table of “story-telling”. Still it is also important, to create the described environment. Even when it is a 1-on-1 situation.

Of course, one might say, that the group (eg. family) is already talking about daily events. But in everyday life, some obvious things are forgotten. One of the obvious things, which might be forgotten, is constructive and active feedback. Hapiness can be pursued proactively in a family context, too.

I do have the habit to dive into a good book or an interesting lecture on Youtube, which leads to disrupted ability to listen actively to my partner. When talking while preparing for work, we don’t show the necessary concentration to be active and constructive. The concentration might be disturbed. Sometimes one might be held in his thoughts or his mobile phone.

This is why it is of highest importance, to create the environment (time & space), where opening up and providing feedback is on top of the consciousness list.

When it’s somebody’s birthday, my wishes in most cases combine both, health wishes and a suggestion to smile every single day. It became kind of my “thing” to wish a smile for each and every day.

When i am shopping, i try to always have a smile on my face, even if i do not feel like smiling. Why? When eye contact comes up,  i want to be prepared. The first eye contact should trigger a smile on the other person’s face. I want my eyes to be smiling. I want to be “saved” as a smiling person, in best case combined with a positive feeling.

When i am calling a support hotline, i even try to have a smile-sounding voice. Why? Because people seem to be more open to help me in a non-standard way, when they think i’m smile-sounding.

At some points in my life, i even smiled to myself looking into the mirror in the morning. Why? I believe, that a smile comes together with positive emotionality. And even if it does not directly increase my positive affect. When i see my own morning smile in the mirror, i start laughing and out of the box, there is some good feeling generated.

Children recognize smiling. Strangers recognize smiling. Friends recognize smiling. I assume, that even dogs recognize simling or at least a smile-sounding voice.

My experiences does not reflect the whole power of a smile nor is it representative, but it suggests, that there are benefits of frequent, proactive smiling on well-being.

Well, there a specifics to a real smile. There are differences to non-real smiles, too. A real smile is called “Duchenne Smile” and one can recognize it pretty easily by raised eye wrinkles and mouth angles. Humans in general just know, when somebody is really smiling and feeling true enjoyment.

But, there are other smiles. There are smiles, people show, when they win and display superiority. People smile differently, when they want to award somebody for something good he or she has done. There is smile people show, when they want to suggest empathy to somebody else. Each smile sends out another message and its interpretation varies based on context, in which it happened.

Of course, you don’t want to walk around like a clown, smiling without a reason. Nobody will believe your smile is true, when it will not fit the context and be congruent with your body language. The question is, when a smile is a beneficial behavioral strategy. Or: Which benefits might smiling generate. Smiling to yourself? Smiling to others, while talking, while approaching?

Smiling is one of many facial expressions. It is common knowledge, that body expressions are expressions of inner emotions. There is less agreement, when it comes to connection of specific emotions to specific facial expressions, like the real smile.

In general, we smile when muscles in our face get active.

Basically smiling, as many other facial expressions is at some point connected to emotions. Emotions are or better emotionality is on the other hand connected to well-being. Main theories which underline this assumption, are:

* The theory of needs: The basic assumption is to fulfill my own needs, which will lead to well-being.

* The theory of goals: The basic assumption is to pursue goals, aiming at an ideal state, which will lead to well-being.

* The Theory of activity: The basic assumption is, that task processing itself is the goal, which will lead to well-being.

How are motivation and emotion theories connected to a smile?

Emotionality and positive emotionality in particular can be understood as the future probability of participation in specified actions.

Emotionality in general is stable over time, might change in short-term, will get to an average, person-specific level in long-term. This means, that positive affectivity has an average, person-specific long term average level, too. Though context can impact emotionality on short-term, it will not have a major impact on emotionality on long-term.

So positive emotionality will impact the probability of fulfilling my needs, to pursue long-term goals and to conduct tasks in itself. Positive emotionality will therefore probably be a trigger for long-term well-being. Positive emotionality is understood to uncrease the repertoire of cognitive and behavioral ressources.

If a smile and other facial expressions are outer signs of inner emotions, then being a “smiler” might be an outer sign of being a positive person. Being a person with a high average of positive emotionality, will lead to increased well-being.

Many studies have been conducted on the topic of smiling and the impact smiling has on inter- & intrapersonal level.

On an interpersonal level (when interacting with others), people who smile are perceived as more friendly and attractive. more approachable, desireable, more authentic, more sincere and reliable, more generous. A smile can even compensate relative bad looking. Relative bad looking people are perseived as more attractive when smiling, compared to relative attractive people, who are not smiling.

Smiling increases the probability of cooperation. It increases the probability of the smiling person as well as the perceiving person to cooperate. Smiling even increases the probability to match the height of input whithin a cooperation scenario.

Basically families are a good place for observing smiling behaviors and the impact. Young children react to facial gestures and to gestures of body warmth and reflect it to the parents. Smiles are a sign of warmth within families.

On an intrapersonal level, people who smile more often, judge themselves as more social, more competent and less negative. Smiling not only helps in increasing positive emotionality, but helps in reduction of negative emotionality, too. Therefore smiling increases the effectiveness of psychological regulation.

People, who smile more often are rated as extraverted.

When it comes to life outcomes, smiling on schoolbook photographs predicted lower divorce rates, higher subjective happiness in marragies and life overall, higher longevity. Smiling predicts better results at work, when having to solve complex high quality tasks. It predicts higher ratings of own work. Smiling predicts higher tips in service jobs or higher product ratings in client-centered jobs.

There is sometimes a limitation to smiling, when it comes to being in situations of confrontative aggression, eg. fighting. Fighters, who smile before fights, are predicted to have worse results (loose in fights) afterwards. This is, as smiling in a aggression context might be understood as an indicator of inferiority.

Smiling is even a signal of social mood. Analysis of facial pictures on web portals like Twitter led to the conclusion, that an increased number of smiling faces on photographs on twitter might be a mirror of a positive affective state of the whole population. With positive social events, more positive pictures online were registered. Positive pictures were registered, when faces showed Duchenne Smiles.

Smile, Smile, Smile! (when approaching others and the situation is right)

If you don’t want to be the clown, who is smiling in situations, which are contradictions of positive mood, then adapt to situations. When you want to cooperate or when you expect something from the person you are approaching, smile within the first seconds. When context matters more, adjust to the situation and do not smile (eg. when something bad happens).

If you want your co-worker to take over some responsibilities, approach them with a smile. If you want your boss to grant you a raise, approach your boss with a smile. Use your smile as a tool for lowering barriers in social interactions, especially at work. If you want to cooperate, smile and do not seek conlficts.

Use your smile in calling contexts, too. Your voice reflects your inner emotionality, too. Stand up, walk around, smile, then start speaking into the phone.

So smiling has a intrapersonal regulation function, too. This means, that smiling in itself to yourself might generate benefits for yourself. Even if it seems unnatural, stand up straight, look into the mirror and smile. Even if the smile in itself might not lead to positive emotionality directly, with time you will start laughing about yourself, which will then foster positive emotionality.

Just start each interaction, if the context allows it, with a smile. Just try.

SOURCES: academical papers on topics like: Duchenne Smile, Positive emotionality, Affectivity, Facial Expressions, Emotions

It sounds logical, that we automatically assume to be responsible for our positive experiences. On the other hand it turns out, that we don’t want to feel and be responsible for the negative experiences. This becomes even more obvious, if we think about both a lottery winner and a little child breaking one of the windows at home.

The lottery winner will very likely tell a story, how he has choosen the numbers wisely with premeditation. A child, who has broken a window while playing soccer at home, will very likely try to tell the parents, that it was the brother or sister or even the dog. So even in situations, which should be obviously rated the exact other way, people tend to attribute positive outcomes to themselves and negative outcomes to the environment and circumstances. Responsibility is only taken over, if it makes sense for us.

The attribution of outcomes to oneself helps in capitalizing on positive events and attribution to the environment helps to cope with difficult situations.

In my estimate, the main question to be answered is the following: Is it helpful to attribute responsibility for good and bad experiences to oneself?

There is a concept called locus of control (LOC). LOC describes how sure people feel to be in control over the results.

Am I responsible for my grades at school by learning day in day out.  Am I responsible for the degree of bonus achievement at work by going the extra mile. Both are called internal locus of control. It is important to note, that if i fail, it was my lack of effort, which led to failure.

On the other hand: is my teacher or my boss in control? Do they set goals, which are unachievable under given circumstances, no matter how hard one might work? This is called external locus of control. It is important to note, that if i succeed, it was the easy exam and not my effort, which led to success.

The case for responsibility is as simple as it is described above. But why is this concept so important?

3.1.1. Internal LOC and job performance

In a meta analysis the authors have found, that out of the 4 major concepts of self evaluation, locus of control has the second largest positive impact on job performance. Not only does it impact actual performance in task solving, but self and others ratings of performance, too. It does even  correlate with the salary earned, as pointed out in a study in 2006. On the other hand, external locus of control is correlated with lower achievement.

3.1.2. Internal LOC and job satisfaction & commitment

In a meta analysis the authors have found, that out of the 4 major concepts of self evaluation, locus of control has the second largest positive impact on job satisfaction, too. Job satisfaction has such sub dimensions as satisfaction with pay, supervisors and coworkers.

What does it mean? If you assume, that you are the one who controls your results, you will tend to think, that you are paid adequately and that your boss is Ok, too. Furthermore, internal LOC has impact on job commitment, too. Commitment has such sub dimensions as the willingness to leave the company or the willingness to work an amount of hours. In another meta analysis researchers found, that internal locus of control impacts even life satisfaction, which is different compared to job satisfaction. Taking over responsibility increases the relationship between work and worker.

3.2.1. Internal LOC and well-being

Researchers found, that internal locus of control has impact on general well-being, self reported health and objective health measures. The second and third dimension is interesting in so far, in which it confirms the overall public belief, that mental health impacts physical health. On the other hand external locus of control is related to ineffective stress management and depression.

3.2.2. Internal LOC and psychological measures

Researchers found, that internal locus of control has positive impact on the intrinsic task motivation and instrumentality, self development and self efficacy. Task motivation is your willingness to work on job related tasks, while instrumentality means, that you belief in being rewarded for your own efforts. On the other hand, external locus of control is related to decreased self-control. Responsibility helps in increasing psychological measures, which benefit a person in the long-run.

4.1.1. Future Expectations

One of the things that distinguishes the human kind from other animals is, that humans are able to forsee future events and adjust their actions to their expectations.

Now, future events might be or might not be seen positively or negatively. If i think, that people are nice to me, i will get up in the morning and try to meet as many as possible on my way to work. If i think, that people aren’t nice to me, i will probably avoid being around them. So expectations concerning the future underly subjective evaluation.

If the evaluations are subjective, then actions should not be seen as predefined and static. With changing expectations, a person will be able to impact behaviors and take over responsibility, if possible and sensful.

4.1.2. High motivation for achievements

If you start realizing any plans, you will get better over time while trying. Getting better while trying is a kind of feedback.

So, imagine trying to solve rubiks cube. Over time you will get one side solved. Later you will get another side solved. At some point you will solve the whole rubiks cube for the first time. Then you will try to get a better time in solving it.

Each single improvement is equal to a feedback-loop saying, that your work is paying off. You’re getting better and the results confirm it. Your motivation to continue will probably increase. So you will be more and more convinced, that you might really beat any time at some point.

4.1.3. Drive for control and order

This might be understood from 2 perspectives.

The first one indicates, that if you have the feeling of being in control of the immediate environment and the experiences, then you tend to feel more secure. People feel more secure driving their own car compared to flying by plane, which they don’t have control over. This is interesting in so far, that flying by plane is much more secure compared to driving by car.

The second perspective indicates, that being confronted with chaos, you will try to get things into order. Children are a good example. After building up lego castles, they’ll destroy it in order to be able to start building from the beginning. This behavior will help you to understand, evaluate new strategies, navigate through and ultimately solve issues, which seemed unsolveable at the beginning.

4.1.4. Summary of assumptions

* People adjust own behavior to subjective future expectations, so behavior is not predefined

* Motivation to achievement in itself is motivating, because it will have a feedback-loop implemented naturally in its process

* People tend to get things in order to gain control over the immediate environment, which creates a feeling of security, helps in looking clearer and helps to perform better.

What we can do in work environment? First of all you need to have an environment, where your employees or co-workers will be able to experience consequences of their own actions. Of course, it includes the possibility of experiencing consequences of bad behavior (=failure).

Then people will need to have the possibility to change behavior, develop new strategies and experience a change in consequences. The tricky part is to provide the possibility to experience the connection between action and consequences. As an example you might see tasks, which will be conducted end-to-end by the person.

There should be no interference by another person with the only goal to make challenges easier at the beginning, change outcomes at the end or make the person feel better during the process.  The tasks should not be cut off at the beginning or at the end. So a supervisor should not try to get order into chaos on behalf of the employee, nor should a supervisor try to be the one, who earns all the rewards at the end.

Such an environment will help in building up positive future expectations grounded in a belief of being in c0ntrol of future results, which will ultimately lead to the employee getting better.

In order to strengthen the experience, it is obviously helpful to provide constructive feedback. Constructive feedback means, that it should be provided immediately. It should emphasize on the behaviors, which the person has impact on.

In privat environment the situation is comparable to the situation in work environment. An important difference to work environment is, that a person might not need to get better in solving repetetive tasks. But still taking over resposibility in both cases, success and failure, will lead to better outcomes in the long-run.